I just came off a 3-day vision retreat for an organization. The gathering was to support a vision for a healing center that has been incubating for about 5 years. It was also a personally transformative experience and one I was not really expecting to have-which are usually the most important and significant. Somewhat like being struck by a random bolt of lightening.

Without getting into the personal stuff, suffice it to say that speaking my truth remains and on-going growing edge. Learning it was "safe," to tell the truth even when I felt like I was going to die doing so has been a long, challenging and incredibly healing process. I remember the first time I did so like it was yesterday, although it is almost 30 years ago!

It still takes a lot for me to call forth that Kali energy, when I am in group environments and the odds might be stacked against me. It is the Kali energy that feels this need to cut through an illusion or something that feels false, no matter how it is perceived by others. I know she lives inside me now and is my archetype to the continued transformation of my self as a woman-and a woman unwilling to be manipulated or projected upon.

I took on a pretty big challenge during this weekend and risked not being "liked," or the nice "girl," who went along with some of the ideas being thrown into the circle, yet I knew I was invited to be there as a member for a reason.  I believe that reason, is my ability to intuit and search for the truth in the moment.

Old patterns die hard and my voice trembled as I spoke the words of my truth.  It was a terrifying and VERY EMPOWERING moment! It is wonderful how those dualities can live in the exact same space isn’t it? This is where the moment of transformation lives. It is in that exact second when we lean into our fear, and take the risk anyway that let’s us know we are capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound! Many of the women in the circle thanked me for speaking so honestly during the weekend, as did one of the men. This man was the real deal ladies. He’s done his work, continues to do so and walks his talk! He has a very big wonderful heart! He is also so humble, which is a quality lacking in most of us and one I admire very much.

It was 3-days of personal growth and I was left a bit out of sorts. I knew there was still some stuff to process. I had lunch with a new friend who is a healer and powerful woman in her own right. She was on her way to do a Sun Dance and was brought into my life by a mutual friend. There are no accidents…this I know. With her, I released the last of the negative remnants from this event and embraced the powerful and positive ones, and now feel clear about my place in this circle. She helped me to find my way back to my center and congratulated me for speaking my truth and the truth that many women hold, but cannot yet speak. When leaving lunch with her I felt as if I reclaimed myself and who I know I am at my core. Honest, loving, truthful and pretty damn FEISTY!

Contribute: How have you leaned into your fear to speak your truth?

6 Responses

  1. Thank you for sharing in this post, Sheri! It made for an empowering pick-me-up on a morning when I really needed the extra boost. 🙂

  2. Jessica…you are so welcome! It is huge isn’t it? Not always easy to do, but it feels so wonderful when we trust what is inside.
    I hope the rest of your day is empowered and FEISTY!

  3. My friends and I are all learning this lesson! It can be so tiring being the good girl who doesn’t make waves. I think when I was younger I’d blurt out my truth and that was seen as bad or I was “too opinionated”, so I shut up. Thanks for sharing this!

  4. This post struck such a chord with me Sheri. My current personal situation is ALL about finally speaking my truth and claiming my SELF entirely!!! And trusting that if I just do what I feel powerfully in my gut is the right thing — even if it is very hard to do — it will turn out right. And it continues to!!!!

  5. WOW! Thanks ladies for writing! This post struck a chord for most of us. I am getting private emails as well. It’s HUGE isn’t it.
    I actually was still so unsettled after the weekend until I met with my friend and processed that last “good girl,” Venomous Toad (my name for my inner gremlins) piece. I feel so clear and bright now and interestingly, the comments tell me so much…this is a huge place of growth for all of us!
    I stand in celebration to all of you who are claiming what is true for you too!!!
    Dare to be Feisty…it rocks!TM
    CFO…Chief Feisty Officer

  6. Dear Sheri,
    You go girl! Invoking the Kali energy and letting go of that darned “good girl” is so terrifying but ultimately empowering. Your story was a wonderful reminder about how challenging it is to speak our truth but how necessary it is if we are going to claim our capacity to effect real change in the world as feisty females!
    Thank you for the inspiration of your courage….